Aish....

Welcome Back!!!

Sorry friends for not posting. It has almost been an year since I last posted. A lot has happened in the last year. I told my girlfriend about my crossdressing. She was initially OK but I don't think she realized what it meant at that time. She thought it was just some weird habbit of mine and will go away. But slowly and slowly as we talked more she realized its quite different from what she thought it to be. She asked me one simple question "What if you had choice to live as girl for rest of your life without any social pressure? What would you be man or woman?"
At that moment I told her I am not sure of the answer. But slowly and slowly I think I am realizing what my choice would be...definitely a woman. This is a bit frustrating. When you are not clear about your own identity it creates problems in your life. Till last year I was sure that I am not gay. When I told my girlfriend about my crossdressing, the first obvious question was ARE YOU GAY. I told her clearly I was not. But now I am not sure even about that. When I look at any other guy, I don't feel sexually attracted towards him. But many a times, I feel like I need to suck a cock or have anal sex. I even tried dating a guy but in the end I chickened out. I was simply too afraid.
As of today, I am not sure what I am.